Something to Blog About

2010-04-04T09:32:00.001-07:00

Well, you know how when one becomes in so much emotional distraught, one finds (or at least tries to find) solace in penning their thoughts. I don't have an avenue like a written journal or a live and kicking blog, what I have is something that's dead and only appears when I feel this whirlwind of emotions inside me. This disappointment of myself and the line I crossed. And also the frustration I feel inside. Sometimes you question yourself, are you not good enough. Do you still need to do more to prove your worth? These questions go unanswered and positive reinforcement from the people around you may not help. These are questions that you need to remind yourself and these are the questions that push you harder in life. Remember, winning is measured not by how strong you are, how big you are, or how hard you hit. It is about how hard you get hit and how able you are to recover from getting hit.

I find uncertainty in my life. And these questions go unanswered. Blame me for being too cautious, but these questions are the ones that leave me confused and not knowing what the future holds. These are the questions that cause panic attacks leaving me breathless just before I sleep. I hate this feeling of uncertainty, and I hate the feeling that I am not sure. I am as cock sure when it comes to anything else, because I am not afraid to ask. But why does my guard keep on appearing? Is it because I am afraid of losing? It's heartening knowing that life just pulls the rug under your feet when you least expect. It shows how real the world is and what life is about. Getting hit, recovering and adapting. I look forward to the next heavy bag session.

2009-09-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

I guess the only thing I could do is to sit and wait. They say timing is everything but then again there is no time like now. So what should I believe? I have always been the one who takes the back seat and only if I am sure, then I would make the move. However, i sense a turn of the tide and it is only vital for me to do what I have to do. I have never been successful when it comes to affairs of the heart. Am I always falling for the wrong ones? Or are my aspirations too high? Am I always aiming for the moon. These are questions that go unanswered.

2009-04-21T20:53:00.001-07:00

mellon collie and the infinite sadness.

2009-04-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

suppress my urges, control my feelings. i guess it is pretty difficult but if i see nothing in the horizon why try? right?

on a different note, i have so much of mpw left i feel like destroying my text, ripping it to smitherins. but i guess that wouldn't really solve the problem. Hell.

Hell. Hell. Hell.

Signed
Delicate

2009-03-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing good ever happens after 2am.

There are things that I wish I can change about myself.

And I think of utmost importance: Being selfish.

2009-03-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

My reason for penning my thoughts would be obvious, I am not very comfortable telling people what I feel inside. With that said, I tend to not spill my guts out when I blog either. Why? I guess the apparent reason would be the the weak persona I could give people when I bare my soul, letting people know how weak I am inside.

Flightless bird, American Mouth's gonna fill my ears for tonight.

Signed

Mellon Collie and the Eternal Sadness.

2009-03-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

Maybe I am just jaded by the impending slew of deadlines that I would have to succumb no matter what. I guess the only thing we can do is just to look forward and be happy with what's in store at the end of the week.

1. Roomful of blues?
2. Arab Street?

Pick one and choose.

the storm came and blew me to bits

2008-12-02T08:57:00.000-08:00

O'well the storm came and blew me to bits

i build this home
with cinder and cane
the storm came
and blew me to bits

You know how you have so much to write, so much to craft, limitless inspirations and one song overwrites them. Maybe that is why skilled writers and composers tend to listen only to their works. This makes them unbiased.

I was so pissed just now, I was really overcome by blind anger, I guess in this rat race to affairs of the heart, when you're down and out, you just have to suck it up and take it like a man, take it like you have a pair. I swear, I could have just swung that chair onto the pillar release all my rage but like a true blue implosionaire, I kept it in, suppress it. Sometimes, I think I am just gonna implode.

But I guess, the only thing I can do is be happy. So right now, to wallow in the dirt, I should indulge in some uber-inspiring Damien Rice.

Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running in the rain

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

2008-12-01T15:03:00.000-08:00

Read the signs, believe the truth.

3 hours of sleep, and then I wake, 7am, no alarm no phone call. I guess the problem lies in trying to get to bed. My mind is currently in a whirl right now so much so that I am having a great deal of difficulty getting to bed.

Mtrcyle drvby- gd o wine- 3eb

2008-12-01T10:26:00.000-08:00

O'When ever I listen to 3rd Eye Blind songs I get transported back to my emo days/ periods. And especially so, Motorcycle Driveby, God of Wine, The Background, all these songs have gone through significant moments of my life.

Today, at ZY's we did these songs again, and then I start to reflect.

And now at home, I'm just swarming myself with these songs. Its sometimes good to be able to have songs to reflect and remind ourselves of how little and how are all pawns in this massive chest game where we have no control over what is being done and what has to be done. How much you do, how much you slog and how much you work- has no correlation to achievements whatsoever.

I have already based life's little secret with luck and the more of it. People who succeed in whatever they do, its just a matter of luck, 5% hardwork 95% luck. Spoken like a true "give-up". Well, I've not given up for too many times until I've learned a bitter lesson- sometimes it's just better to give up and give in. Why fight when we know the end?

-time to wallow in more 3EB

2008-11-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

It took me

9 months 9 days 2 hours 17 minutes and 20 seconds to let go,

and I did

God bless my sorry ass.

Just felt like freezing this song at 2.17am, october 10

2008-10-09T11:17:00.001-07:00

A Cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say
About the things caught in my mind
As the day was dawning my plane flew away
With all the things caught in my mind
And I wanna be there when you're...
Coming down
And I wanna be there when you hit the ground
So don't go away say what you say
But say that you'll stay
Forever and a day...in the time of my life
Cos I need more time yes I need more time
Just to make things right
Damn my situation and the games I have to play
With all the things caught in my mind
Damn my education I can't find the words to say
About all the things caught in my mind
Me and you what's going on?
All we seem to know is how to show
The feelings that are wrong

Of being grateful

2008-10-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have this urge to be grateful all of a sudden, probably in the spirit that all that's happening and the festivities of course.

1. Thank you, my parents for being uber patient with me.
2. Thank you, SMU Climb Team (need I say more)
3. Thank you, 3rd SCT Exco, one of the most wonderful bunch of people I have worked with.
4. Thank you, all my friends for giving me your wonderful insight.
5. Thank you, for the opportunity to travel to Europe and the rest of the world, I haven't seen much of what the world has to offer, but grateful with every step.
6. Thank you, for the time spent in the library running myself down with stress.
7. Thank you, for the wonderful bunch of Climb friends who walked me through school work and of course helped me with coping with my stress level.
8. Thank you, for the times spent at Timbre, Roomful and everywhere else, where we sang, danced and made merry.
9. Thank you, for the best band mates anyone can ask for.
10. Thank you, for all the memories you've given to me.
11. Thank you, for the tumultuous summer.
12. Thank you, for the museum visits, the bus rides, the car rides to your place, our little study corner beside the printing room, answering my call despite it being 3am in the morning, listening to me rant and whine.

Sounds pretty emo, but I guess the list should be longer than that.

I'm just a living legacy to the leader of the band~

2008-09-30T09:58:00.001-07:00

You remind me of morning again.

Siting Waiting Wishing

2008-09-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

I guess I need to learn how to move on.

Quoting something someone said to me the other day which sounded like the most painful thing anyone could probably say would be, "I will wait for you." I mean who in the right mind would take such a sacrifice knowing that such lines could mean very dire consequences. We limit ourselves by saying this. It's like I wouldn't. Well waiting could only mean how long before I grow tired and move on. I am a little weary counting the number of days and thinking of better things, but I should be clearing my mind, with the slew of rubbish that is in the corner. I need to stop, think, take a breather and see if I should take the next step. To back down, back off completely. It is very difficult and half of me does not want to. But I guess its better for me to take that step rather than just wait, and worse still wait for nothing.

Let me see, I have been hiding in the corner, only sticking my head out for the chopping block a few months back, hiding, waiting, and trying my luck for the past 8 months, since late February. Time passes fast, and I really hope time heals. It should, in due time. But due is seriously an understatement in this context.

*sigh

2008-08-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

Defeat.

As simple as it may sound, I think I lost the race, I guess I couldn't contend the speed.

Think I'm just back to my sorry old self, time to listening to more emo music and waddle in sorrow.

2008-08-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

Leaving for Krabi tomorrow.

A great place for me to ponder, reflect and drift.

I will miss you.

2008-07-26T09:15:00.001-07:00

You know how travelling to another place, a very secluded place where getting there involves a 2 hour flight, another few hours of ferry ride and then a bus ride, you know you can get hours alone to sort your thoughts. I guess Krabi for me would primarily be an outlet for me to really reach down and dig deep the skeletons in me. I need to do that, heed the advice of Jan to take a day, think through, and if it isn't worth it, to leave it all.

It is very different since drifting, I suppress my emotions and wean my conversations and also feelings start to wane and waver. I used to be so naive and tell myself that all that was done were part of a scheme to test my resilience. Now I've come to realise (and probably infer) that it was all not a scheme to test but lack of interest. I could be jumping to conclusions but that's just how it feels eh, at this point in time. Well school's about to start and it just gets weird and awkward. Without having school to start, saying Hi takes a lot of strength and nerve.

Haha, its wishful thinking but it would be good if I could live in that few weeks for just one more time.

2008-07-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

In Big Fish, Ewan McGregor's character was saying something about how times stands still when you see the love of your life and then it'll only double up its speed because time has to catch up with that little bit of stalled time?

Well if I could I would like to capture frames of my dreams and immortalize them. My dreams are as random as it can get but nonetheless, there are certain sweet ones which I wished were totally true.

This happened a couple of months ago, the day I sent her home after the beach. (this was reality)

(Now comes the dream)
I remember the night, a very peaceful night and sending you home.

I do not remember the modus operandi, I do not remember the vehicle of travel, all I remembered was I was BT and I left your place, longing for more time together. While I took the turn onto the PIE adam road exit, you gave me a call asking me if I wanted to do supper at Adam Rd and I was elated. I tried to navigate to Adam Rd but ended up in a very obscure corner of Clementi which I do not recognise. My car (I hope it was a car) turned into a bicycle and I had a flat tire. I lost all bearing and I didn't know what to do. I was stucked in Clementi, with no sense of direction, not knowing where to go and to spoil it all, I had a flat tire.

I haven't really tried analyzing dreams nor would I want to, I want them to appear and stay that way, a little random, a little out of this world and a little Tim Burton. The very least, I've immortalized this dream so I doubt I'll ever forget it unless I forget to look it up when this post goes to the back, or this blog gets dissolved.

2008-07-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

I cannot deal with this. Not right now.

I have climbing stuff in my head that's not cleared, I have some things to do but it seems that my ability to procrastinate has reached its highest level. And now I think its starting to irritate the hell lot of other people. I'm feeling the heat. Worst still, I have a gig up tomorrow and I'm not fully sure if I am ready for it. Songs are in my head and I just hope I don't get a bad case of forgotten lyrics. My heart is racing. My mind is a mess. What have I achieved during my term in office. NOTHING. Gives me no good reason to run for a second term, gives me no good reason for people to vote for me. I guess people who know how I work would probably give me a vote of no confidence.

I am terribly stressed out right now. I need to wake up early in the morning to go to Holland V to collect a guitar and then rush to Royal Plaza, and then go to Peninsula for the last jam session before the gig and then rush over to Toa Payoh Stadium for the gig. I have so many things to think about right now when the only thing I should be thinking is about the song and the lyrics. I seriously think I should not run for a second term in office. I have nothing to show for AGM either, what have I brought to this club other than late and improper tabulations and compilations. I haven't been keeping tabs of all the documents either, thats the problem with juggling two computers I presume.

2008-07-15T09:18:00.000-07:00

I'm very glad that I have been liberated by the chains that shackled my ankles. Sometimes we ask ourselves, did we wait in vain? Answer's pretty straight forward but what the heck, its over, why brood over it?

On another note, Krabi in two weeks and I can't wait. To skip off to some whimsical climber's paradise where we'd be greeted by clear waters, sheer rock faces and of course wonderful people. It's a good time for me to really sit and ponder, and probably get down to what I love doing most, climb, doodle, and ponder.

Mardy Bum-mer.

2008-05-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

I spoke to Jan the other day and he laid a particularly important ground rule to quash my indecision. He said to take one day to consider and really contemplate and then stick to your decision for the rest. But I guess one very fundamental aspect that nullifies the ability to quash such indecision is that my decisions are shrouded by confusion. And personal direction and feelings change in a whim.

I've been looking pretty much at my trip photos to reconcile my thoughts. These are forms of escapism that I take. To leave it all and run off to some distant country like the South of France, bask in the sun and forget all that's lost.

Another food for thought, evenings, why do they stink. Imagine staying at home at 7pm when the air is cool, the sun is setting, it is going to be dark soon and you have nothing to do except sit and think. I seriously dislike evenings.

I am the Fool

2008-05-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

I feel so fricken foolish. How can I be so stupid, how can I have the audacity to partake in the sweet nectar of a death stick right in my backyard. I have been doing this for a long time, but why was I caught? Had I been more wary of my surroundings, had I been smarter and only did it outside of the confines of my home, then I would be living much more healthier and not in this fray. My mind is a mess right now. If anarchy could take home, it would be my mind. I cannot think straight and I have to rely on a blog to pen my thoughts. I am going crazy. The irony of the matter, is that since getting caught, I need one right now to calm my nerves. This is getting messier by the second. How can I be so stupid and not to mention foolish. My progress in my journey of amor has taken a side detour and that has thwart my route. My grandmaster planned scheme is not manifesting with such speed bumps. Sometimes, I question my very goal: do I really know what I want, why am I on this trip. This wordy mess is endless. Sigh Period.

2008-04-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting and time is definitely on my side.

The problem lies in how long is too long to wait? Vibes are currently in a whirlwind with no proper direction or I could be thinking too much. Waaaay too much perhaps. I keep telling myself I shall take it as it comes, but the again, the problem - how much can I take? How much of this whirlwind can I stand before my knees buckle?

I just have to tell myself:
I shall take it as it comes

Distraught

2008-03-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated the blog in the longest time and I guess the only moment when I ever start to reflect would be when I'm ravaged by emotions. Is it all worth it? I need to discriminate emotions for I cannot allow my grades to slip. I shall take it as it comes.

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore
Before you take a swing
I wonder what are we fighting for
When I say out loud
I want to get out of this
I wonder is there anything
I'm going to miss
I wonder how it's going to be
When you don't know me
How's it going to be
When you're sure I'm not there
How's it going to be
When there's no one there to talk to
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
Where we used to laugh
There's a shouting match
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch
A silence I can't ignore
Like the hammock by the
Doorway we spent time in swings empty
Don't see lightning like last fall
When it was always about to hit me
I wonder how's it going to be
When it goes down
How's it going to be
When you're not around
How's it going to be
When you found out there was nothing
Between you and me
Cause I don't care
How's it going to be
And how's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
And how's it going to be
Want to get myself back in again
The soft dive of oblivion
I want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion oblivion
How's it going to be
When you don't know me anymore
How's it going to be
How's it going to be
How's it going to be

Pairs, Je t'aime

2007-08-07T07:41:00.000-07:00

Onward Paris! We woke up bright and early that Friday albeit a few hours of sleep the night before. Somehow visiting Ikmal and Sobri at their home for MacD and coffee and thanking Ikmal for his kind gesture the night at St. Laurent du Var assert the fact that friends are really pivotal especially when you are three thousand light years away from home. I was also deeply grateful on Jun's part staying up until 5 in the morning preparing our travel arrangements and packing the luggage. I am forever indebted for her showing of care and concern for her younger cousin.

Celine met us at Pythagore and drove the lot to Nice where Jun wanted to show me the famed flower market which I was too lazy to take pictures of. Truth be told, I was afraid the stall owners would give me the bird once i started my frenzied snapping. But still, I didn't budge, I didn't take any pictures and now I regret. I couldn't bring a slice of the flower market home let alone add on to my cache of reminiscence. Aside from being such a dumbo for not snapping, we continued down the flower market. It wasn't your typical Pasar Malam nor was it a Pasar Pagi (kidding). It was in fact half and half. The beginning quarter was a market that sold fresh flowers, fresh fruits, paintings and other knick knacks and knock offs that the Nigerian peddlers sold. Down the line however, you'd be comforted with a smorgsbord of gastronomic delights and other French pastries. We bought Provencal herbs that would be gifts for Lydia Jie Jie and Paul. It was never polite turning up someone's house without a gift. We also met Angie, a Singaporean who moved to Nice after marrying her French husband Bruno, but that would be another story for another time.

After the stroll down, we rushed to the airport to catch our flight to Paris, Orly and Celine was a darling to offer a ride to the airport.

A short 1 hour flight and we arrived in Paris. Anxious from all the hype, I couldn't wait to leave the airport to experience Paris in its full glory. Imagine, the land of romance. People make pilgrimages to Paris and I was here! After clearing all administrative matters at the airport, we dragged our luggages and rode the RER down to the Eiffel Tower (Champ de Mar, Tour Eiffel). Actually, I was compelled by the sheer weight of the luggage that I felt very agitated during the first few hours of Paris but I tried to cover it up and not be impolite in front of Jun who sacrificed so much for me to make this trip so enjoyable. So I sucked whatever I had and poker faced my way through. She could however smell my irritation and offered to lighten the load. I relented and poker faced all the way to the Eiffel Tower and was in awe of its engineering excellence. A mass of twisted metal and wire mesh. It was moments like these that made me realise that I WAS IN PARIS! Oh my god, I see this all the time in the movies and on the television and this time it was here, right before my eyes. It was majestic, you could feel its presence even in from a distance.

The sheer weight of the luggage was again dampening my experience and we headed down to the Louvre hoping the Louvre had a cloakroom/ bag room. We took the metro down afew stops to the Musee d'Orsay and walked over to the Louvre. Once we've arrived at the gardens that was situated in front of the Louvre, I was again spellbound and that slap "I AM IN PARIS" went right on my cheek. We sat at Paul's in front of the Louvre for some Chocolat Chaude (Hot Chocolate) and some pastries resting our sorry feet and my sorry shoulder before going into the Louvre. We were however attacked by the many pigeons around and had to make for a quick getaway. Just as we were leaving however, a dead mouse dropped from the sky and landed on Jun's feet! Probably some bird of prey lost its grip but anyhow that was the indicator we had to go in.

True enough, there was a clock / bag room and I was over joyed! All I wanted was to dump the luggage somewhere, of course in a non suspicious manner, you wouldn't want a bomb squad right on your tail if you've left your bag in some unattended locker or under some bench in front of Parliment Building. Anyhow, we went to the ticket counter and flashed our student IDs and we got into the Louvre for free! Without said pass, I would have to pay about 8 euros! More savings! I was a common tourist and since we're at the Louvre lets head straight to the Mona Lisa. I went through flights of stairs and pass the so many Angels and expressions of Christ and Mother Mary before coming to a little room with a horde of people trying to take pictures. We got in and there was it, the Mona Lisa. A horde was trying to snap pictures and the Mona Lisa and the museum folks were in vain in trying to stop the horde. So like the rest, I took out my handphone and discreetly took a shot of the Mona Lisa and skipped to the next room. There was one place in the Louvre that you couldn't probably appreciate art. It was the room which housed the Mona Lisa. How is it possible to stare at a picture and study the grains and strokes and try to think and feel what the painter felt with so many people snapping at their cameras and with museum workers constantly disuading them from taking pictures? And you thought Singaporeans were Kiasu. We walked most of the Louvre waiting for phone calls from both Farah and Jun's cousin.

For one Farah was going to a gathering to celebrate and thank an embassy staff who has helped all the students in France. So many Malaysian students came from all over France to Paris for this gathering. After receiving the call that Farah and Farid were at the apartment, we made our way down to its location afew minutes away from the Eiffel Tower. It was still in the city centre but a little far out and was also beside La Seine. Upon reaching the apartment, we were invited for a asam laksa and bee hoon goreng free for all in the heart of Paris! The house was full of Malaysian students and Jun took her time to call on her friends and relive the past. I however was just stuffing my face with the goodies and constantly keeping my eyes on the French MTV.

I am tired. Next - Paris at night and after that!

Cannes

2007-08-05T04:45:00.000-07:00

As the days go on by, I slowly forget my time in Europe. However hard I try to keep it stored, they get replaced by newer events that are uploaded to my memory cache. Therefore, I should continue writing my days in Europe before I forget them all! I should just do it daily in Europe but that didn't strike me until I landed in Singapore and started to reminisce my time in Europe causing sleepless nights that greatly affected my sleeping patterns. That was probably my biggest case of jet lag to date.

All that is left in me are little snippets and frames that appear before my mind's eye on whatever that has happened three weeks ago. (Side note, my phone bill has not arrived but I fear the worst. 2 weeks in Europe and a weekend in KL, I think the international call bill will hit the roof) We left for Cannes after a hearty lunch made by Jun. We made our way to Cannes with Rauny in the cockpit, navigating his trusty 20 year old Peugeot 205 down the main highway to Cannes which was close to 45min away. The journey was very much consistent, petrol stations, houses, some trees, some fields, it wasn't like our afternoon drive to Vence where we met his friend's father for the renewed driving insurance tag (but that's for another story). It was repetitive and consistent, walls after walls after walls, it was your typical highway you would drive anywhere.

Seeing all Venetian styled windows and buildings that looked very different from the more rustic Nice, you needn't a signboard to tell you you were Cannes. The buildings were intricately carved and their facades were very different from that of Nice. It was more classy and less beach resort like when compared to Nice. The stores are a little more catered to haute couture and not run-of-the-mill factory production. Big names in high fashion line the main boardwalk of Cannes like Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Chanel and other haute products too haute for my wallet to take. The variety of cars that lined the famous boardwalk was also greater than in Nice. Instead of your traditional French fare, you had Audis, Hummers and other fuel guzzling contraptions over zealous petrol heads would call their second home.

Who wouldn't visit the Palais des Festivals (Home of the Cannes Film Festival) when they visit Cannes? So like any other traveler who was afraid to take the road less traveled, I went to the most famous sight for a glimpse of the venue that portrayed more glitz on a rapper's bling and more glamour than Fergie can ever get. I was however disappointed that the Palais des Festivals wasn't much of a sight. Honestly speaking, I was amazed when I saw the Sydney Opera House from a distance and was awestruck when I was in its compounds but the Palais des Festivals looked worse than The Cathay near SMU let alone The Esplanade. It had a less than promising facade and the only thing that resembled something glitzy was a red carpet that had other like minded tourists trying to squeeze photos on it. And like any other like minded tourist I took a picture in front of the Palais des Festivals that was like a stamp of presence screaming "I was here!"

I was disappointed with the over hype so Rauny suggested, we should stop our walking and take a bath at the beach. Imagine, this is the closest I can get to bathing in the Mediterranean, all these talk of soaking some sun in the French Rivera, swimming in the Mediterranean among mermaids and gawking at the lithe nudies on the beach. This was my time! We chose a spot behind the Palais des Festivals, rolled out our mat and towels and got ready to get our feet wet. And then it struck me, we weren't at a nude beach but why are the ladies liberally walking bare chested. Mind you, these weren't the lithe beauties you dream would fantasize about but old sags I meant hags. It was definitely a sight, a sorry sight and I was traumatized. From first look, I kept my chin down and my gaze to the floor, I didn't want to be shocked by anymore graphic visuals. To prevent any other form of disgust, I ran straight for the sea for a dip. I was expecting warm Mediterranean waters as depicted by Discovery Travel and Living and other travel channels that spoke of false promise of warm comforting temperatures. The temperature of water was however very cold even in the heat of the summer. I had difficulty adapting to the cold water and had to mentally challenge myself to fully submerge my body. It was already 8pm and we managed to squeeze a little bit of whats left of the sun before we headed to Juan Les Pins to give Stefan a visit. Problem was the restaurant he was working closed early that night about 10pm and so we headed back to Pythagore for dinner.

I loved that day, every single day in Europe to be honest. I would definitely want to go back visit the new friends I made. Bring a piece of Singapore to them like how they brought the whole French pie to me. Sigh, three weeks has passed since landing in Singapore, I sure miss it there.

Dinner With The Tutors in St Laurent du Var

2007-07-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

After the glorious tea of gelato and other soaking up the warm Nice sun, we rushed back to Pythagore (Jun's residence in Sophia-Antipolis) to change into something spiffy before heading to St. Laurent du Var for dinner with their tutors. This year being their last summer in Nice (for some), mini-parties and get-togethers were mandatory. Most will be leaving for Engineering Schools in other parts of the country, beefing up their academic qualifications with an MEng or MSc along with the diplome from the polytechnique.

Their teachers chose this restaurant by the beach with a very quaint dining setting. Al Fresco and by that they managed to maximise this dining experience with the cool sea breeze and of course the starry Nice sky. Stars dotted the skies in Nice. It could be one of those 'the grass is greener on the other side' syndrome but then again, Nice is considerable darker than Singapore in the night considering the lack of big cargo haulers cruising along the straits, shining their huge spot lights, street lamps and other light-emitting objects also make Singapore considerable brighter in the night reducing the ability to gaze at the stars. Let me finish, their tutors chose this restaurant because it was in close proximity to one of the tutor's yacht.

Truth be told, dinner was less than satisfying. Each person forked about 12euros which was about S$24 for 2 slices of pizza and a few refills of Coke. That was it. No lavish cuts of meats, no endless buffet of seafood, there wasn't even a buffet of salad. Talk about being ripped off.

Dinner was dismal but the company again was sensational. We played a game of 'If you had a French name, what would it be' and we were made to memorise all their French names and we took turns guessing and second guessing. For some reason or another, Bichet came to mind when it was my turn to pick names. Their tutors however objected, saying Bichet was a last name and I had to pick another. So I began to recollect, Bichet Benoit was our climbing rival from Lycee Francais Singapour. I haven't got time to lose so I began to think of another name and Michel Platini came to mind so voila, I was Michel for that night.

Before I get tired, I should pepper this entry with pictures of dinner.

After more rounds of drinks, we were brought over to the Marina where we'd see one of the tutors yacht. I wasn't really interested in the yacht, I was more occupied with finishing my conversation on cars with Farid. We were going on and on about the V10s and the W16s, from Maseratis to Protons and even Perodua and not to mention my trusty old 92' Mitsubishi Lancer which I wrecked (that's for another story).

But I was there to see the yacht and so, I will. Her yacht was far from spartan. a deck the can fit 8 people seated and a captain steering. The lower deck was fully furnished. 2 rooms to that can fit 2 couples. A stove and a siting area which I believe serves the purpose of a living room.

And there you have it, her boat. It looks much bigger in person. Too bad I didn't get pictures of her lower deck. Side note, this teacher was initially intending to ship the boat up to Cherbourg in Northern France and then cross the English Channel and dock in England for a short holiday. Unforeseen circumstances prevented them from doing so.

After dinner, we were still dead hungry from the lack of food, so some of us (Babe, Rauny, Syikin, Jun and myself) went to McDonald's for some late night supper. We drove down to Antibes where the 24hr McD was. The funny thing about this McD was that only the drive thru operated through the night, so we parked our car and did a 'walk thru', ordering food through the drive through but on our feet. Another funny thing was most of the menu was sold out! 24hours and sold out! I can't imagine. We quickly gobbled our food and head for home. But no, it was 1 in the morning and we passed Antibes Land! This amusement park in Antibes. The child in us decided to emerge for the night but was quickly suppressed and we only did a walk round before going back to the car and back to the apartment.

Tomorrow, Cannes - made famous by the Film Festival

Vieux Nice is nice

2007-07-24T07:36:00.000-07:00

After a night of gut stuffing action, I slept and woke up bright and early. 8am to be exact. In the summer, the sun's out very early in the morning, 4am. To quash every ounce of pre-excitement jitters, I stood in the balcony and started taking scenery and the flowers from the balcony. To further relieve myself of all sort of laziness, I started a regime of push-ups in the balcony which typically and true enough lasted for a day, that day.

The itinerary for that day was Vieux Nice. A cache for all things rustic and bohemian. I was seriously hoping that it wasn't just another tourist trap which was chock-full of tacky I Heart NY, or Singapore is a FINE city, or any other smart-mouthed, trying-too-hard to be catchy t-shirt which screams tasteless. So i crossed my fingers and prayed.

I closed my eyes and went into deep thought in the car and when I opened I somehow, in some weird disruption of the time-space continuum managed to teleport into this warm and aromatic Greek restaurant which was located close to the Gare or train station. No we were not served naked men with washboard abs or women in togas that exposed their left breast, but instead by a pleasant lady who redefines the meaning of punk. Rauny was here before and he took helm. We ordered the meal with alot of meat and I for one was jubilant. Meat!

First came the appetizers which was typically eaten with pita and we were typical people so we ate typically with typical pita.

There you have it, a smorgasbord of an appetizer. All sorts of both savoury and unsavoury chutnies, dips, creams, yoghurt and a cheese-filled samosa. Initially, I was a little bit disappointed. I was thinking, we gave you the responsibility and you valiantly captained this ship and now you're feeding us like grubby sailors with yoghurt and bread. Boy, was I displeased but I sucked up all courage and gobbled like a grubby sailor suffering from scurvy.

Suddenly, all I heard was a voila and I was astound.

Meat cuts and meat types of all shapes and sizes. I see lamb shanks, lamb on a skewer, grilled chicken on a bed of tomato rice, skewered chicken pieces, more lamb on couscous. Boy was I in paradise. This was what I was looking for, the meats in France.

That was a little digression and I should get on with the monologuing of my trip.

I have never been to that many countries with restored old towns nor have I traveled much for that matter, but one step into Vieux Nice and I was astonished. Astonished by its sheer beauty as a district. Nice is a little city in the South of France and acts as a haven for big wigs and hot shot moguls deciding to leave the fast pace of the city and seek solace in a quiet and more forgiving environment. It shies away from the bigger and more cosmopolitan cities and thus retains that old world charm. Its typical European and by that I mean southern French, Provencal architecture was something to gawk at. The bohemian culture that bites you at first glance was something that you cannot experience by reading a book nor looking at pictures. The feeling was like shopping in a large Sunday market (but only cleaner and less smelly compared to those wet markets in Bedok) among happy people enjoying the sun during the peak of the summer holidays.

The cobblestone roads and and the narrow streets transported you to, like what many gamers would say, cs_italy Yes, that very famous Counter-Strike map we used to glue ourselves to the monitor during our teenage years.

I couldn't help but take a few pictures.

The sights was something to brag about but the company was undeniable enjoyable. After roaming aimlessly soaking up the sights, we caught up with Farah and Farid or Smaap which he is affectionately called by his peers for some gelato.

Gelato stands in Nice were abound. Every street corner and at every turn, you would catch a glimpse of a happily-ran gelato stand. It was a Mecca for the soaring summer temperatures in Nice. It was required by any soul who needed to seek comfort away from the blazing temperatures of the summer sun. It was pure hedonism on my part. I was or rather I am a gelato buff. Back in Singapore, on every Tuesday, I would try my very best to make use of that 50% off for waffles at Gelare. Aside from that, we picked Fennochio for it was THE gelato stand and the rest was just run-of-the-mill.

Fennochio on the left in Vieux Nice! and for dessert..

Voila, 8 flavours in a bowl.

Next, the dinner date under the stars in St. Laurent Du Var.

Finally Europe

2007-07-23T04:45:00.000-07:00

Little did I realise my dream of going to Europe would manifest. I was able to save a bundle minimising expenses during lunch and tea break during my short but fruitful stint with CPF. Parents promised me some money for the trip as a 21st Birthday Gift and I gladly accepted their expense. Up until today, a week since I since I returned from my final destination, London, I still remember vividly the days I spent in Nice, Cannes, Paris, Amsterdam, Den Bosch, Eze and the other little suburbs of the French Rivera. Problem is, I wouldn't know when this memories will last and all that remains would be stills from my trusty Panasonic. All that remains would be a file with 741 photos, label-less and caption-less.

The first step I took onto Europe was at Heathrow Terminal 4. I was navigating through barriers and gantries finding my way to Terminal 1 where I would be taking a connecting British Airways flight to Nice. Heathrow was a far cry from the sane organisation in Changi Airport. Everything was in a mess. All you could do was follow signs that led you around corners and sometimes they were less than conspicuous. Lines and queues were at every counter and disgruntled passengers made my brief experience in Heathrow less than pleasurable.

After maneuvering for what seemed eternity. I arrived at Heathrow Terminal 1 after a slow shuttle bus ride. I had a 3 hours to spare before my flight leaves so I bought a smoked salmon sandwich and a bottle of mineral water from Pret-A-Manger. London was the home for everything expensive. The total damage for a common and less than satisfactory sandwich breakfast came up to a little over £5. Translating that into Singapore dollars, that would set me back S$15. S$15 for a simple breakfast was unheard of by my standards but I was left with no choice in Heathrow. This was considered the most reasonable deal I could get. My other options included gourmet smoked salmon and caviar at the seafood bar. I can't complain.

Three hours seemed like eternity with nothing to do but staring at a screen that would in due time show you your flight details. The problem with Heathrow airport and other airports in Europe would be their inefficiency. In Changi Airport, you would know your gate almost immediately, once you've collected your boarding pass 2hours before your flight. In Heathrow and for that matter Orly and CDG in Paris, you would only know which gate your flight leaves afew minutes before your flight leaves. If you knew 5min beforehand, you had to make a desperate sprint to the other side of the terminal just to catch your gate before it closes. It was super inefficient and unorganised.

Okay so I caught my connecting flight after several short naps and walks along the departure lounge and was excited to be crossing borders and finally the French Rivera.

I arrived at Cote d'Azur Nice International Airport at approximately 1pm and was pleasantly greeted by Jun. Little did I realise, her friend had agreed to pick me up from the airport and I could return to her airport in the comfort of a car. I was introduced to her friend Rauny who was also an international student studying in Nice and was from the island nation of Tahiti. Our first stop was a little Italian restaurant in Biot called Toscana. Quaint and very Mediterranean themed interior, I was spellbound by the warm French attitude. I heard so many horror stories of snobbish French folks who wouldn't take a second glance at an Asian or for that matter anyone else. I was pleasantly surprised when the couple beside our table started opening little conversation with both Jun and Rauny. I was still lost not knowing anything French but I played along.

After a hearty lunch, we went back to her apartment in Sophia-Antipolis where I can finally unpack and hand out gifts and little goodies from Singapore. Her apartment was far from spartan. For what its worth (and mind you it was worth quite a bit), it had a stove a private toilet or toilettes, a study table and of course a bed. But what sets her apartment room apart from others I've seen was the amount of food! Food glorious food. Open any cupboard near the stove and you would be greeted with all sorts of mixes, ingredients and goodies that tantalise the taste buds.

Almost immediately, her friends were enjoying a BBQ party organised for their French teacher. So again, I was fed like a king with burger patties, grilled chickens and of course pasta soup. My first day and already so much food. I was thrilled and couldn't wait for the second day to begin where the fun would begin!

2007-05-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how we are made equally and yet be made different all at the same time. I started my whole contemplative mode when I stumbled upon such genuity. How can we resemble so much like someone of a whole different racial background. From our racial roots and bloodlines, we asians are generally made with less than prominent deepset eyes and very small, slitty eyes with almost orangey yellowish skin. And yet we may look so much or at least resemble someone who is caucasian by race.

Lets take for example myself, it is amazing for one to wonder how I resemble my caucasian cousins in certain facial features when we are of entirely different racial backgrounds. They are a Russio-sino mix. And I am a Sino-malay mix. Despite being of entirely different paternal racial genes (sorry for digressing but suddenly I felt a deja vu-ich sensation), we resemble each other in certain features.

That got me thinking that although we are of different skin colors, we do share certain facial similarities. Of course, lets not talk about the ignorant saying, 'yeah sure, you and him both of you have eyes ears nose mouth and teeth.'

Just some food for thought to pen down.

2007-05-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling when the stuff you want doesn't come your way and there is nothing you can do about it? I sure do and listening to Ben Folds don't aleviate the situation. I have this tendency to just throw everything down and leave for abit. It is times like these that I really want to leave for Europe and get away from this harsh reality.

I need to find my yardstick

2007-05-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

There is no end to this pursuit in audio perfection.

In a heartbeat, I could have bought the EBs (there goes $395) and the Porta (there goes $500) but I need I guess I've placed my yardstick firmly. And by the grace of God, I really hope that it won't budge. I heard the EBs of gene's rig today and I was spellbound, problem was I wasn't too keen on plunging into my pockets and bring this pandora's box of sorts home. It would probably run amok in my bank account and I'd probably be left penniless again. Think of it, I don't think it's worth to spend close to 900 bucks on something like a pair of earphones and a portable amplifer.

For one, I could do so much with that amount of money. Think of all the clothes I can get and my sunnies. I wouldn't wanna start school with no money at all also, considering the amount of reading materials and all the bullshite thats school related. Been living off my parents for years now, it's high time I cut that noose that's strangling their purses and do some form family contribution for once. Guess I have to limit my stretched arms and dig deep into my own pockets now.

Anyway it's just a pair of earphones. yah right. Just another pair, bah!

Thinking Back

2007-04-28T07:19:00.000-07:00

Two performances if we're talking about solos and band stuff but two performances are all I have under my belt.

My debut was with Josh and it was Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) by Vertical Horizon. It was our choir's graduation ceremony for the seniors, a very little affair where choir folks past and present revel among catered thrash and some little dance numbers and skits, the usual in secondary school productions. He was doing the lead vocals and rythm with his trusty Fender acoustic and I was doing back-up and overdriven rythm. Funny how my amp died while we were doing this riff that needed distortion and I started kicking the amp but electronics work in different ways, brute force will not get you anywhere.

My second was in college, I forgot what event it was for but I was invited to do vocals for the guitar club folks. We did Highway To Hell by AC/DC. It was awesome, we had the crowd on their feet and all. But truth be told, I hated the song.

Soon, I am gonna polish my guitar and start performing again! Seeing the audience respond is the BEST feeling any performer can get. Okay unless you're Rod Steward and will only be moved if you see the dollars the crowd's waving at you.

Save Our Trees!

2007-04-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

Something I "did" for SOTMagazine. (inverted commas for what was imposed on the original review)

SOT On Funkygrad

Happy Days.

I just got violated, call the intellectual property police!

Audio Bliss

2007-03-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

I think I'm being too much of an audiophile.

I was considering and almost hell-bent on purchasing that pair of earphones, the UE super.fi5 pro for a wallet burning 350 bucks. Thinking back, would have I spent so much on a pair of earphones considering that all earphones are alike albeit the different sound quality it produces. Blame me for having overly picky ears wanting detail in music that I listen to. To nullify the ever irritating distortion, to tighten that punchy bass, to bring sweet wafting holy matrimony between the lows, the highs and the mids; between the trebles and undertones. I still remember how good Michael Buble's Dream a Little Dream sounded on the pair of UEs. But again, plonking that much money on a pair of earphones - a bit far-fetched. Guess I'll have to stick with my trusty all Grados and Mylarones before taking the plunge.

I was seriously considering those cherry red UEs, but some guy beat me to it. Good thing though. On impulse, I could have swept those off the shelves without second thoughts.

Considering that I'll still most(?) probably go to France (I really hope), I think I should save money for that and it should take presidence above all including plonking for a pair of new earphones. Having said that, guess I was guilty with splurging again. I just bought myself a pair of pointy toed Aldo shoes that blew 200 bucks out of my bank account. Talk about being all thrifty for a trip that I'll probably never go if I ever graduate and begin my rat race to riches.

Random

2007-01-16T05:19:00.000-08:00

I've been so looking forward to clinch that elusive moonlighting job from Chong and was lucky enough to get it. Problem lies with suffering from a writer's block. Having not wrote for more than 2 years, picking up that pen and bring holy matrimony with the paper would be harder than usual. Money is not so much a motivating factor for this assignment. Seeing my name up there for all to see is. Think of it as my 3 seconds of fame. Even if no one reads my article, the very least they see my name.

I just got a job with CPF Board as an admin ASSt-hole. Probably a Pao Kah Liaw doing everything from filing to photocopying to binding documents but I couldn't care less. Right now, all I need is something to spend my days. Hole-ing up at home don't help and I need money to leave my shack. 6 dollars an hour is dismal by all standards but whose complaining? The worse bit of this financial crisis would be having to contribute 20percent of what I earn every month to my CPF account. Call it a head-start if you want. I call it being a pauper... for now.

Even before raking in the cash, I start to ponder what I would do with my newly introduced Cash Cow(less). Get a new guitar? Go shopping? Spend it all in Paris? I'll see what I'll do with the cash when it comes in.

For now, I have to nurse this leaky tap for a nose and try to scrummage this fur-ball out of my throat. *cough cough* *whizz whizz* *aaart-TI-CHOOOOO*

Repertoiric Repercussions

2007-01-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

I should probably pen down what I can/ cannot play/ plan to play/ plan to sing and play/ plan to do everything and then play. It feels good after you've conquered a song. Say that playing rythm is easy, but after all that's done. The load's off your shoulders.

Engrish Tunes :
1. Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars (looks easy, I should learn it soon)
2. Vertical Horizon - Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning) [Learnt this in sec sch]
3. Verve Pipe - The Freshman (learnt the intro, too lazy to finish off the rest will do it some day)
4. Lifehouse - Blind (Learnt it, but unable to commit to memory, I should really invest in those clear folders and a proper printer)
5. Howie Day - Collide (learnt it, need waaay more practise. I hate moving from easy chordies to bar chords. And I have to invest in one of those capos)
6. James Blunt - You're Beautiful (Personal favourite, now all i need is a high squeamish voice)
7. James Blunt - Goodbye My Lover (Like the latter, I need a high squeamish voice)
8. Ryan Cabrerra - True (I wanna learn this song)

Lagu Melayu
1. Peterpan - Mungkin Nanti (I love this song!)
2. Exist - Jesnita

Hua Yu Ge
None - I listen to them but I just don't have the urge to learn to play them.

My search for a new guitar to replace my old classical has ended. It has manifested itself in a form of this new local guitar setup. Maestro! I should pick one up when I get a job. For now, I'll just have to stick to thrashing my oldie till kingdom come and then come up with an excuse to get a new acoustic, fully loaded with proper pickups and what-not.

Remember Kids!

2007-01-12T08:04:00.000-08:00

Something for the kids.

I still love all you emo rejects.

I will join your ranks some day.

But for now, MAKE IT COUNT!

Poison

2007-01-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

Again! I've been plagued by the sort of poison where you wanna fulfil all your wants but haven't got the ability to do so. My never-ending wish-list just got extended by rekindling interests.

For one, I finally picked my old classical up and gave it a new lease of life. I started learning new material and re-learning long forgotten ones. Blame it on being too free and too bored but it never hurts to learn something new, keep it up my sleeves and who knows when I'll be able to use it? You just have to be a little scheming and calculative sometimes. But this rekindling interest's about to blow my wallet let alone my budget. In my search for a new electric/ semi-electric/ electro-acoustic, I got injected with this poison. An Epiphone Wildkat Archtop series guitar by HiLo. A hollow-body, Gretsch lookalike, a very mellow and rounded sounding guitar perfect for those crunchy blues riffs. What matters is that it's got this wonderful Bigsby vibrato gadget that adds a whole vintage, rustic look. It's both beautiful and practical.

Isn't it a work of art?

It'll blow my brains out, soon enough. This baby's gonna be mind when I find a job. For now, its just time to sit back, relax and enjoy this new found freedom (but without money!)

The Twilight Zone

2007-01-07T03:06:00.000-08:00

I call this the twilight zone.

Picture this, yourself at home 6 - 7pm-ish, staring out of the window, door or any other opening that permits you to look outside. Clouds are purplish with this tinge of orangey glow from that setting sun. Cool breeze while the leaves rustle.

Atmosphere's just sad thinking about it and on this particular Sunday with plans lasting till 4pm, I am stuck at home in the twilight zone. Sad case, gone case.

This is the twilight zone from Siglap Rise.

Believe me, the images are not enough to tell you how grim the setting feels. Pink Orangey tinge on a purple sky and for those who have to go to work/ school tomorrow, this dire atmosphere multiplies ten-fold.

2007-01-06T19:45:00.000-08:00

Even after RODing, everything still looks uncannily mundane. I was expecting confetti, fanfare and lots of money making opportunities but no, I got a rude awakening. I haven't found myself a job, something that was 9 to 5 or the very least retail hours so I can enjoy my nights. My Parisian voyage preparations will ceased until I find a job. I got offered this very unglam job from Adecco, Tiger Beer promotor which I politely rejected knowing that it was very inapproriate. Other than that, I've been trying to get all hardcore-ly healthy. Climbing, swimming, running, soccer-ing, tennis-ing.

I have planned new workout regime for the weekends. Soccer on Saturday mornings. Swim at least 20laps in the afternoon. A 10km run on Sundays (which I have yet to start but soon). Golf on Sunday afternoons. Slot in climbing/ bouldering sessions during the weekdays and I'm good to go.

All these are in lieu for my game plan for a perfect body.

Swim - For the shoulders.
Climb - For the back and the forearms.
Run - For the legs and heart.
Golf - Don't really help much but slowly and subtly it does work your mid-section ( I hope )

So many concerts coming to town and I'm not gonna catch any of it. I shall sacrifice for my Parisian hopes! Just thinking of it, what I'll be missing. Muse, John Legend, Il Divo. Urgh. So pardon me while I burst into flames.

2006-12-26T05:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, so I'm about to ORD in 2 days time.

I'm not overjoyed like I would like to be. Instead I feel indifferent. Truth be told, I dread getting off my bum and finding a proper paying job that would finance my Europe trip. Gone are the days that I would wake at 0630h, proceed down to Prashants', hitch a ride down to ARC and rot till 1730 then leave. Getting paid $420 a month doing nothing was torture, now with this wind of change, it's quite a torture(?)/ pleasant surprise(?) [not known yet, have to go through then can say.]

The weather still looks bleak with this nonstop downpour.

What a coincidence. Urgh.

2006-12-01T09:31:00.000-08:00

My dream of going to a far off land away from the tropics, among the vinyards and the cliffs of chamonix is coming true. I've checked air tickets to Paris and then to Bordeaux and they're relatively inexpensive. Considering under a thousand for a 14hour flight. If i remembered correctly, we forked out about a thousand for an 8hour(?) flight to Melbourne not long back. I'm too lazy to cont. maybe some other time.

Back to Reality

2006-09-02T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's sad when you have to drag your sorry ass back to camp after a nice week of sipping pina coladas admist lush greens bopping your head to soft rock.

Punk Revival

2006-08-31T18:36:00.000-07:00

I have spells of different forms of listening pleasure. Trance and electronica was last season. After months of sourcing for the best of Armin Van Buuren, Tiesto and Paul Oakenfold, I fell back to my roots, where I started listening music from - Rock. But as of now, its emocore and its subsidaries. That brings me back to my first ever album I bought. It was in 1997 when I was primary 5, 11 years old. A goon whose listening was influenced by his elder cousin. That was when I begged my dad to get me Oasis's Be Here Now. And it was an awesome buy, everything in it was subliminal, it was Oasis at best. But ever since the culture of teenage angst started creeping into me through the likes of my colleague, my ears have been plugged into bands like Funeral for a Friend, Finch, Matchbook Romance, A7X, Thursday, Death on Wednesday.

Cackmeisterkeliemheist

2006-08-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

Rainy days really remind me of one of the best Oasis songs from the best album they ever produced. Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday.. I just got alot of things to learn. The song's just so lazy albeit having so much jive. This rainy Thursday just accentuates and compliments the song. Taking out my wisdom tooth wasn't so bad after all. I can bask in this chilly weather and sleep all day. And then blog about how this dreadful excuse for wasting time is coming to an end. And another chapter of my life would unfold. And how anything that I would fare in the next 4 years would affect my future prospects. I love it that I can finally tear my uniform and not be conformed by an organsation that does not enforce meritocracy especially those bound by that service deed. For we are seen as temporary installations and would leave, why give them too much training, why give them too much money. What I want to ask is why the hell give us so much responsibilty then? Bleaugh, enough of this bullshit, I've handed over and would love to enjoy my last weeks doing nothing.

Oh my wisdom!

2006-08-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the dreaded wisdom tooth extraction. My threshold for pain has never ever been commendable. I squirm whenever I go for a facial and I'd look away and think of happy thoughts whenever I go for a jab. Yesterday was ultimate. I felt needles in my mouth. Subsequential injections using a long metal syringe and then a smaller plastic one. I felt the needle enter my gym twice for my upper tooth and about three or four times for the bottom one. All i did was tense my body and release this hum to draw away the thought of having needles in my mouth. After being tormented by needles she put this piece of cloth with a hole around my face to isolate my mouth. I couldn't see anything, all I saw was her bloodied glove 30min after the procedure when she lifted the veil. The drilling was brutal, I felt the sensation all through my jaw and the crackling sound of ripping out teeth through the gums wasn't something you wanted to hear either. The only consolation would be the 6 days excuse from duty.

The painkillers were amazingly effective. I feel no pain even after the procedure, even after the anasthaetic wore out. I should really get the prescription, probably it'll help with other bumps and bruises. Tuesday, I'll take my stitches out and in 2 weeks time, its time to rip the other two teeth out.

Of Extension Bolts and Sleepy Mondays

2006-08-28T04:04:00.000-07:00

Work ended at 4pm today, given that all my bosses were taking clearing their off in lieu of yesterday's 21km. Like a hero, I claimed my off and slept throughout the day. There were however the usual disruptions when god forsaken units decide to barge in and enquire about a whole spectrum of questions on e(s). I managed to purchase my extension bolts and metal hangers for my current fingerboard project. I have decided, instead of buying tiles, I shall go back to school and steal some. Or at least, try and persuade gtl to let go of some of the very very very old entreprise tiles.

My personel Gym

2006-08-27T07:31:00.000-07:00

I have been depriving my forearms of massive build-up of lactic juices for almost 2 years. I miss my long and strenous bouldering journeys across the school boulder wall rounding up 20 to 30 moves a time and then the pump kicks in when squeezing an empty can of coke takes a whole lot of strength. I miss that sort of punishment, knowing your forearms will grow beyond imaginable propotions and with pulsating veins growing out of your arms. I feel strong back then. Owing to the punishing regime of numerous sets of pull ups on bars, finger boards, wooden boards, flat edges and campus rungs. We have hung from almost everything that we can hang from.

This depravation has pushed me to building my own training wall in the back.

I'm gonna build a training area. With rock rings and campus rungs. I am going to get my previous form of 15pull ups back through deadhangs and the works. LACTIC ACID!

World Cup 2006 in Singapore

2006-08-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

Yes the Climbing World Cup - S'pore series has ended. Spanish climber Ramone Julien beat crowd favourite Czech Tomas Mrazek who didn't even make it to the finals. Second place went to yet another Spanish climber Patxi Usobiaga.

Last week, Viv had a 'make it up wedding ceremony' in Tung Lok Restaurant for the people who couldn't make it to Venice for the uber ceremony. Guess what, amazingly I had malay food at Tung Lok, don't know how that happened. Probably the only thing chinese there were people at the table and nice succulent Salmon Sashimi that was probably Norweigian.

Tomas Mrazek

2006-08-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

I saw the climbing phenom at climbasia on Tuesday, he wasn't doing sick routes but long random ones. He's in Singapore to compete for the World Cup at the expo this Saturday. In person, he really generates this aura of greatness. Watching him climb, I recollect the sick difficulty routes he did in Munich to clinch top position in the World Championships last year. What seemed to be a mundane climbing with Thazin turned to be a wonderful experience to be in the midst of a World Champion.

There Tomas! Allez! 8c in Tonsai.

This Weinersday

2006-07-20T06:26:00.000-07:00

8am, fall in in Siloso Beach for roll call. Yes, thats regimentation for you. It follows you wherever you go even at the beach. Latecomers shall be unduly punished and disciplinary actions will be taken. Fuck regimentation. Hell, I went late coz we lost our way and ended somewhere nearer to Palawan with ChongLi championing the vehicle. My bearings of Sentosa are way off, considering that last I've been to Sentosa was in JC2 when we had our Very Amazing Race with ODAC. So like a good soldier would, I participated in all the games albeit being a chao kenging pes E fella which I really am and didn't need any form of chao kenging. I'm legit! Volleyball, volleyball more volleyball and touch rugby and a bevy of ang moh beauties.

I met up with Thazin after a 3 month abscence from Singapore and began the usual walk from Orchard MRT to Dhoby Ghaut MRT the only thing I can do in Orchard coupled with the occasional appearance in shopping centres looking at stuff and grimacing, dreaming and wondering if I had a million dollars my life and shopping would be much easier. So she had to leave early because she is a walking pang seh queen but hell, I got Jan to leave his home and meet me.

Like fucking faggots we caught MURDERBALL, if it was some chick flick or love story, i'd probably cower.

Murderball is inspirational and motivational, quadrapiedics are normal folks and they can drive and do sports like normal fellas can, albeit not be able to have 100percent control of their limbs. Watch and be in awe.

100Days

2006-07-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

As of today, I have exactly 100 working days left till I ROD. Tomorrow, at the stroke of midnight, my days in the army are numbered, I am gonna break into the 2 digit mark, 99 more work days to go. I can hardly wait. I have yet to plan for my leave or my offs and also my MC because of the gay number of days the SAF has allowed me to stock up on the elusive leave. I've been wanting to take a short trip away from Singapore before I ROD, leave myself and leave this organisation for a long weekend breather.

Trips I wanna go after I ROD.
1. New York City Boys!
2. Bali Baby

Have yet to plan but its coming baby. Very soon. 99 more work days. yay.

Deevine Intervention

2006-07-15T02:13:00.000-07:00

I'm in desperate need of divine intervention after my routine trip to Issacs to get my eyes checked.

The power in my left eye increase to 1450 a jump by 100 degrees in 5months. Last time I went to Issacs my power was 1350. This is definitely a reason for worry. I don't wanna go blind, I need my vision. It is times like these that man fall back on one of their primal nature : faith. A word that knows no bounds and is intangible. One cannot see, feel, hear faith but we know its there and when all else fails (I have no other way to correct vision with surgery) I only have faith to fall back on.

I have to limit all near field work. I have to stop reading too much and computering, I have to stop doing alot of things. With my new RGP lenses I doubt I can play soccer ever again lest I break my lens when I get hit in the eye and the shards rip through my pupil. No more contact sports for me.

At least I can fall back on climbing.

I couldn't afford to burden my parents again after they paid for my teeth treatment so I forked out for the RGP lenses from my miserable $420 pocketload.

I need divine intervention.

My computer has a mind

2006-07-04T05:29:00.000-07:00

My computer has a mind on its own.

Plagued with all sorts of worms and viruses, it'd be very difficult for me to log on let alone blog or check emails. That's the problem when you reformat. The moment you hit the connect button on the dial up, shit enters.

Besides that, I am gian to join planet fitness, to pay money for gym services. Finally I would not have an excuse not to go to the gym when I pay.

I've recieved by pair of rudy's I waited 2 months for.

I almost met with an accident 2 yesterday when my tyres locked when I jammed break at 85km/h, I suddenly lost control of the vehicle and it was going head first into the barricade. Instinctively, I swerved the vehicle the other way and the vehicle was fish tailing. Imagine a fish being reeled. Yeah, tail smacking frantically, that was how my vehicle looked. Lesson learnt, NEVER jam break when the road is wet.

Fuck, save my computer.

Ouuch

2006-06-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

So, I regret whacking buffet at Sakura with the ODAC fellas. Company was great, food was hard to swallow though. Now I'm having difficulty drawing deep breaths, I haven't passed motion since Thursday and I have duty tomorrow. What the fuck. Looks like it's time for me to pop laxatives and pang sai aids later. Alas, I'd wake with killer stomach aches and an equally killer diarrhaeo.

I Could Have..

2006-06-12T00:03:00.000-07:00

Take the quiz:
Which Singer Are You?

Amy Lee
Like Amy, you often find yourself overwhelmed with day to day life and the outcomes of your decisions. As well as making a special place for yourself outside of reality to ease your suffereing. You are sweet and subtle with your messages and they are often misconcepted, but none the less, heard.

So I could have been an Amy Lee in my past life, don't think my messages are sweet and subtle though.

However if I were to be as good as a guitarist, I'd be..

.. Synster Gates, my newly added on the favourite guitarist list which includes Slash GnR, Petrucci DT and Kirk Hammet Metallica.

It's Okay

2006-06-10T22:57:00.000-07:00

"It's okay to be messed up"
"We were messed up and we picked ourselves up"
-Gerard Way of MCR

By the looks of it, they make pucker music but are still messed up. With the eye liners the red eye shadows and bloodied face at every gig, they are messed up bad.

A7X for life \m/

Vroopassem

2006-06-10T00:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, the liscence is now in my hands, well still have to wait 3 darn weeks before it arrives ONCE I get my photo taken. Yeah but I had to endure being ticked off by the tester.

"Did you know you beat red light"
And I began my endless rant on how I did not beat red light and that I was at the stop line on green and turned on flicker. Which is alright by MY standards.
"Why you argue for what? You wrong admit wrong, don't argue."
What the fuck, admit? When I did nothing?
So I go on my "sorry sir, nervous"

And he counted my points and wrote a number 16 and I was on my feet with arms raised in jubilation. But I did not bring my photo and the photo shop closed. So I gotta wait awhile before I can apply my liscence.

So everyone's abroad, no one else in Singapore. Everyone's either in their home country, on holiday or in some God forsaken country that houses some god forsaken military facility governed by god forsaken SAF.

More CDs to add to my already mega oversize amazon.com wishlist.

1. Thrice's Vheissu & Artist in the Ambulance
2. Avenged Sevenfold's City of Evil and Waking the Fallen

Metalcore for life \m/

D-Day

2006-06-09T06:53:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is D-Day. Drivingtest-Day.

Today was the second last driving lesson before the big test and I screwed up again. Striked curb while doing directional change and striked the curb again while doing vertical parking. Tim said that I had to be one with the car and have to use the force. The force to force my tester to believe that all my mistakes are nothing and that I will instantly pass. I need the liscence, I need to stop wasting money.

Doodie Day

Laziness Meets Root Canal

2006-06-06T06:51:00.000-07:00

So I've been told my tooth is dead. Prior to today's meeting with the dentist, I already knew my tooth was a goner, its discoloration was quite obvious, there's a darkened patch on my front tooth which didn't go away even with super hard vigorous brushing or half-yearly trips to the dentist for the mandatory cleaning and sand-blasting.

The dentist said I had to re-do the whole root canal treatment again. That means sucking all the dead tissue out and filling it up with God knows what. She told me that they have to fill some parts with cement. Think I'm gonna weigh heavy after this.

Appointment ended about 12 plus and I was lazy to go back camp. I was given the verbal not so obvious 'i dunno anything' go-ahead by my IC before I left for appointment so I just left and didn't come back. So I was officially AWOLed for the remaining part of the day, but who cares. Well I tried asking the filipino dentist if I was covered for the day and she said today I can give you time sheet coz no treatment was done only X-ray. Only second visit I can give you MC because there will be some pain involved. Like what the fuck lah.

So I went home. Nobody cares.

Tomorrow may go climbing in TPJC. Taking half day off, leaving at 1130 probably going climbing and then driving and then ODAC camp fire. Driving test on Saturday. *Shudder*

Rave

2006-06-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

Everyone's been raving about so many flicks that I never managed to catch, so I would stock up on DVDs and bring them while doing my duty on the 17th.

1. Trainspotting
2. City of God
3. Really wanna catch American History X again.

That would cover almost a 24 hour duty if I couple it up with hours of winning eleven and Halo.

Geeeeeeeeeraldine

2006-06-01T06:46:00.000-07:00

Geraldine Chua's a babe.

She's got spunk and style-loh mylo ord loh.

(210 absolute days to ROD loh and counting)

Ridza did his speculation for things to come in the coming months and it's my turn to do mine.

June - Work, MC, MA and World Cup Germany 2006
July - Work
August - Work
September - Work
October - Work
November - Work, mood sets in.
December - clear leave, no work, ROD mood, ROD loh.

Defeat

2006-06-01T00:15:00.000-07:00

Okay so we got our asses whooped by a buncha privates who looked as though they recently graduated from fatboy bootcamp which didn't really help them shed inches. Probably out-of-coursees from Echo and Kilo coy and then thrown into OETI as auxilliary staff (LP-Lobo Personnel). They train hard and we could have won the second pull if collectively we pulled at precise counts but after being dragged afew metres forward, we were tugging at the rope for dear life. Everybody's rythm was wrong, we were driven by sheer will and not the constant yellings of the team manager. We were desperate. Desperate to win this and desperate times call for desperate measures.

The worse part of this competition was, our pillar of strength, the anchor, the one that pulls and cannot be pulled injured his lower back and did not pull. Our team leader, did not show off because of an inflexible commissioning parade council. We were led blindly, not knowing what to do and all we did was grab the rope and pull with no strategy at all. You cannot win without a strategy. Even a ridiculous sport of dragonboating where all you do is dig your paddle deep into the water and pull requires strategy.

We knew we were done for from the start.

At least there were brighter skys ahead, we were able to go home directly after the uneven match-up, it was a record time reaching home without being on off or an off-pass. 11am! But I was so drained that all I did was grab a burger, head home, ate and slept. I feel like threadmill-ing over at Jan's a little later. Yesterday I try running while feeling really bloated and airfilled and I stopped after 1.2km. Whenever I go on duty, I'd feel all bloated with air during the night and sometimes, goes all the way till the day after.

Back to work, tomorrow, Fiak.

Just Barely Breathing

2006-05-31T00:26:00.000-07:00

Just barely breathing, and what comes to mind? That Killswitch Engage song?

I AM just barely breathing, not metaphorically but literally. I am having difficulties getting that nice deep breath, like you get a high on clean, pure air. It has been difficulty lately, ever since I can remember. I don't remember when this breathing difficulty started but I wished it would stop. Running however helps, I have no difficulty running distance despite this difficulty in breathing. Probably, running helps but I wouldn't know. I have to get professional help soon. Have to seek the MO, make use of free medical facilities in camp while I am in still in SAF and before I make the transition to civil-hood.

I have also finally found new motivation. An impeccable inspiration that manifests itself as Lance Armstrong. A cancer survivor, a loving husband and a filial son. He fought testicular cancer, absolutely wiping them out and then garnered 7 Tour De France victories. If Lance can do it, so can I. Not fight cancer but overcoming obstacles. I am thoroughly inspired by his book, It's Not About the Bike, It's About the Journey Back to Life that I am gonna pledge US$10 for cancer research by getting a pack of 10 LIVESTRONG armbands and probably selling the remaining 9 off and make a profit. *grin*

Having my Tug of War match-up at CNB tomorrow with OETI (only eat talk and idle) at 9am. And if we overcome unfavourable odds, we'd battle against the other semi-finals winner for the championship. Truth is, I have little confidence, most of the team have commitments and I doubt we could even field a full 560kg let alone win. Fuck. I need the offs badly, off running low, so is my leave.

Enough is Enough

2006-05-29T04:31:00.000-07:00

Enough is enough. I've decided to desert my xanga roots and dwell within the realms of blogspot albeit being plagued, spammed and overcrowded with bloggers alike. Blogspot should begin its social cleansing, an uber-genecide of sorts where gaudy, star spangled and maimed blogs were shattered, re-formatted and domain names stucked up places where the sun don't shine. Death to gaudy, good for nothing blogs that takes up space, RAM and valuable bandwidth. They ruin the eyes, twist the minds and dismembers the senses.

Xanga's the devil. They host blogs with little or no ability to edit your site unless you pay a premium and become a premium member, like wow. Who in the blue hell would pay money to rant about life that only you would read. Heh, actually I have no interest in editing the html bit of the blog, it takes too much time just figuring out where goes where and how to write the language. It's so cumbersome that I've decided to stick with this default template I get to choose whilst creating a new blog.

Oh yah, I repeat, Xanga's the devil, they do not let anyone else post comments unless you're a xanga member. What the fuck. That's freedom of speech for you. To speak your mind, you have to go through mindless and labourious clicking and keying in code words like 'jymnpg45' choosing a gay domain name, inserting some lame description about yourself before you can say something like 'I like your blog'. It makes noooo sense at all.

Damn, I have to be in camp by 0710hrs tomorrow morning, shave, trim off some nose hair, brush my teeth, comb my hair and iron my uniform. I have CO parade. I absolutely love CO parade. Listening him rant jackshit in the early morning, standing in the heat, perspiring, thinking about tea break, I love CO parade!

I still have to pack my bag for duty tomorrow. I can start counting the days. It's about 213 absolute more days to ROD, 28 more weeks to ROD, 7 more absolute months to ROD. I am absolutely on my way to ROD.